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[personal profile] ecto_gammat
Title: Perfect Alibis
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Summary: Jim gets drunk too often, Leonard doesn’t get drunk enough, and Gaila and Uhura make bets. An academy-era story about four friends featuring hover couches, prank wars, and Gaila being way cooler than you.
Notes: Companion fanmix for the absolutely fantastic fic The Gaila Show, written for [livejournal.com profile] startrekbigbang. The content herein contains spoilers for said fic, but no warnings apply. Please let me know if the stream is janky or any download links stop working.







01. perfect skin - the 69 eyes
you've got a perfect skin
with a devil's grin

say hello to the pretty eyes
say hello to the deadliest lies
you've got the looks, baby, I could die
you've got the looks
you've got a murder style


Her roommate was already there and unpacking; upon entering the room, Nyota found herself faced with an absolutely gorgeous Orion girl. Her curly red hair set off her green skin perfectly, and she actually looked good in cadet reds, damn her.

02. mayhem - imelda may
ten pints and then he starts a fight
and he lands himself a night
in a cell wearing grey pants and bruises
twelve mate bangin' on the door
oh the back up vans galore
never saw such a street full of losers


“Sorry, Bones,” he said. “I just get all excited about computers, and since Gaila here is studying them...well, never mind. I promised you a drink, and a drink you shall have.”

“I’ll comm Nyota,” said Gaila, “and see if she wants to come.”

It was on the tip of Leonard’s tongue to say that he had homework to do – he did –and that he didn’t want to stay out too late – he did have a class in the morning – but he decided not to. It would be nice to chat with Nyota again, and going out would be infinitely better than staying in his room all night, potentially with Mike.

He would have been better off staying with Mike, to be honest.

03. show me - zo2
don't hold back now
let me hear you scream
you know its now or never
cause what happens tonight becomes tomorrows dream
and you wonder to yourself
did it ever really happen?


“So, we need,” Jim said as they were walking, “What did you say? A couch? Where are we gonna get a couch?”

“I think I know just the place.”

“What? Where?” Jim asked, bewildered.

“Detour!” called Leonard as he veered out one of the side doors and headed back to the dormitories, Jim and Gaila trailing behind him like ducklings.

That couch had to go. One way or another. This served two purposes: amuse Jim for a night and keep him out of trouble, and divest Mike of that ugly thing he called a couch that was just taking up too much space in their small living area.

It’s not like they were living at the Ritz, here.

04. 'til we die - slipknot
my friends are all hurting
from moments and regrets
and charity laced with a lie
and still we keep hoping
to fix all the defects
and strengthen these seminal ties

we go on together
for better or worse
our history is to real to hate
now and forever
we stay until morning
and promise to fight for our fate


Gaila nodded, as though she knew what he was talking about. Leonard wondered if she did. She shifted a little closer, so that their thighs were touching, and Leonard leaned into her. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him just to be touching him, and she was a warm and comforting presence.

She wrapped an arm around his back. Her shoulder was bony and not entirely comfortable to lean on, but Leonard didn’t mind. When he started dozing off, Gaila giggled softly and guided his head down to her lap and played with his hair until he fell asleep.

When he woke up a few hours later, it was dark in his room and she was gone. Mike was, thankfully, absent. When he flipped on the light, he found a note on his pillow with her comm number. It simply said,

“Anytime.

-G”

05. you vs me - horrorpops
cornered by my hopes
you invade my dignity
a calculated attack
on my naive personality
an assault on my place doesn't
make you be like me
a kick to my groin
leaves us enemies


When they reemerged from the lecture hall, teasing Leonard about his driving, the couch was gone.

“What the fuck?” Jim screeched when they noticed the couch’s rather conspicuous absence. “What the absolute fuck?”

“Well, someone obviously wanted the couch for themselves.” Gaila said.

“Yeah, but how did that even happen?” asked Jim, outraged. “We installed that recognition system, right? The finger print one? I thought you made it so that couch can’t be driven by just anybody, you know!”

“Obviously someone hacked it, moron.” Leonard rolled his eyes. “It’s not like they broke into Starbase XIII or something.”

“Someone hacked my program.” Gaila seemed absolutely outraged, flushing a deep green color and putting her hands on her hips. “I’m gonna kill them. Kill them, and feed their liver to my goldfish.”

“Your blueprints were flawless, Gaila, I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.” Leonard said. “But… were there any safeguards against someone just picking it up and walking away?”

Jim and Gaila looked at each other for a moment, speechless.

“Shit,” said Jim, then burst out laughing.

06. every inch of you - the darkness
i’ve attended my last lectures
slept through my last class
you can take your qualifications
and shove them up your ass


Somewhere between the stolen couch and the revenge plans, Leonard found out that he was failing one of his core classes.

Flight Simulation.

He needed it to graduate, for obvious reasons, so failing was clearly a very bad thing. But no matter how hard he seemed to try, how diligent he was about attending class and turning in his papers, Leonard just couldn’t get past one little detail.

The practicals.

He bothered to try them out once, just to see how hard they. Just to test his limits.

That was a bad idea.

Without the practicals, his instructor had sent several bulletins and other items of interest to inform Leonard that he was, indeed, fucked. Like Leonard didn’t already realize that. Fuck you very much.

07. medicate - breaking benjamin
i got somethin' up my sleeve
i know you will cover me
inside out and in between
i know you will cover me
i've got bruises on my knees
i know you will cover me
inside out and in between
and i know you will cover me


Jim was playing dead extraordinarily well, in fact. Silent as the grave, Leonard actually cracked his eyes open to make sure he was still alive, and Jim had his own closed.

It was a bit worrying. Something started a war within him. The deeply ingrained help the patient fought against the instinct to stay right where he was, in his chair, strapped down. Safety versus protocol.

The doctor in him won out. He unclipped his belt buckles with shaky hands, and managed to get on all fours very, very slowly. Mumbling the whole way.

“I hate you. I hate this. I hate spaceships. Damn you, Jim. I swear to God once I get over there I’m going to put my fist through your face if you don’t get up.”

08. fearless - the bravery
too many fingers, too many thumbs
something wicked this way comes
the best time I've ever had
waiting around for something bad

fearless, fearless, ohh
and i know that's why you love me


“Jim,” said Leonard in a strained voice, “I think we maybe ought to consider, uh. Relocating.”

“I’m not letting those assholes ruin my night. I was here first,” said Jim, scowling stubbornly. “We’ll just sit here and….not start any trouble.”

“The day you don’t start trouble will be the day the sky falls,” muttered Leonard under his breath. Seriously, the guy was an absolute magnet for bar fights and brawls. Leonard had never stitched anyone else up so many times in his life.

Sure enough, trouble found Jim. It was only a matter of time.

09. on top of the world - imagine dragons
i’ve tried to cut these corners
try to take the easy way out
i kept on falling short of something

i coulda gave up then but
then again i couldn’t have ’cause
i’ve traveled all this way for something

i take it in but don’t look down

‘cause i’m on top of the world, ‘ay
i’m on top of the world, ‘ay
waiting on this for a while now
paying my dues to the dirt
i’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
been holding it in for a while, ‘ay
take you with me if i can
been dreaming of this since a child
i’m on top of the world


Exams came and went.

Shockingly everyone survived, and passed. Even Jim.

“Thank God that’s over.” Jim said, sprawled from his place on Leonard’s new/old/recycled recliner he had picked up on the curb. It was a deep gray, and not too worn in any of the places that mattered. So naturally it was love at first sight.

And, honestly, Leonard couldn’t agree with Jim more. If he had to suffer through one more minute worrying about tests or essays or anything, Jim or otherwise, well.

He wouldn’t be responsible for his actions, that was for damn sure.

10. use me - bill withers
my brother sit me right down and he talked to me
he told me that i ought not to let you just walk on me
and i'm sure he meant well
yeah, but when our talk was through
i said brother, if you only knew
you'd wish that you were in my shoes


Leonard frowned. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to get him drunk?” he asked. “Jim’s stupid when he’s drunk.”

“We’re all stupid when we’re drunk,” agreed Gaila easily. “But we also don’t think about things that happened twenty-some years ago when we’re drunk.”

“You’re using the party, and the booze, as a distraction? You do realize this is a man that picks fights for fun, right? Throwing him in with more expensive alcohol is like putting a bull on steroids. You’re just hopping him up more.”

11. shaking - sugarcult
i like the sound you make when we're shaking
you like to lose control and i take it
i turn the music up so it drowns us out, oh

i'm scattered when the morning comes
shattered over what i've just done
tell me if it all works out


The first kiss had been sloppy and quick. Lips weren’t quite aligned, noses bumped and got in the way. The second kiss had more punch. Once Jim started kissing back, Leonard let him have it, angry and fierce. He said all the things he couldn’t find the words for - I was worried, I care, and I’m pissed that you thought I didn’t.

Jim responded in kind. Tangled his fingers in Leonard’s short hair and pulled. Leonard made a noise low in his throat like he was dying and opened the kiss into something else entirely.

Unfortunately Leonard was also stinking drunk, and swayed on his feet. Jim brought both hands up to steady him, but they ended up falling to the couch instead, Leonard pulling Jim down with him.

Jim chuckled, more out of surprise than anything else. “It’s still my birthday.”

“Well, I drank your present. Happy birthday.”

“There’s still some left,” Jim pointed out, giggling, but it was too far away, and neither of them were inclined to get up and get it.

Instead, Jim leaned down to kiss Leonard again. He was a little surprised; he liked kissing Leonard, and he hoped vaguely that he’d remember doing so in the morning. Leonard tasted like expensive bourbon, and his breath stank a little, but Jim was too drunk himself to care.

12. is it a dream - the damned
a vision of mine is becoming clear
its all so new it can't be true

sometimes the words appear in my head
sometimes i'm falling out of my bed

oh, is it a dream
what does it mean
oh is it a dream
what have i seen


“Wait, you and Leonard slept together?” Gaila looked impressed. “I guess Uhura owes me 20 credits.”

“Uhura - wait, what?

“You heard me,” giggled Gaila, pretending to inspect her nails to hide her smile. “She thought it would take you at least until the end of the year. Clearly she didn’t give you enough credit.”

“For the record, it was Bones that started it,” grumbled Jim, crossing his arms over his chest. “And why are you betting on us anyways?”

“Leonard started it?” asked Gaila incredulously. “I guess she owes me another twenty -”

13. roulette - system of a down
i have a problem that i cannot explain
i have no reason why it should have been so plain
have no questions but i sure have excuse
i lack the reason why i should be so confused

i know how i feel when i'm around you
i don't know how i feel when i'm around you
around you


“Wait, really?” Nyota asked, squinting and leaning forward across the table. “You’re saying you started this, right?”

“Yes,” confirmed Leonard, crossing his arms grumpily.

“Dammit.” Nyota slammed a hand against the table, earning her a glare from the waitress. “I owe Gaila forty credits.”

“What?” asked Leonard incredulously. “You were betting on us? Really?”

“Really,” said Nyota, laughing. “Oh man, when you guys moved in together, we doubled the stakes.”

“I expected better from you,” Leonard muttered. “But if it makes you feel any better, me and Gaila are taking bets on you and -”

“Spock, right?” Nyota finished his sentence, laughing. “Who bet what?”

“I bet end of the year, Gaila bet by spring break,” admitted Leonard. Nyota laughed.

“I guess you owe Gaila money, too," she said, in between giggles.

“Dammit!” Leonard swore. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yep!” Nyota did her best to stop laughing, taking a sip of coffee and recomposing herself. “But now, back to the interesting stuff. You and Jim.”

14. gotta get away - the offspring
it's kinda scary the shape i'm in
the walls are shakin' and they're closing in

too fast or a bit too slow
i'm paranoid of people and it's starting to show

there's one guy that i can't shake
over my shoulder is a big mistake

sitting on the bed
or lying wide awake
there's demons in my head
and it's more than i can take
i think i'm on a roll
but i think it's kinda weak
saying all i know is
i gotta get away from me


“Ah, but you don’t know that unless you ask him,” said Nyota serenely. “So, what are you gonna do about it? You live together. Someone is gonna have to do something. You can’t avoid this forever.”

As it turned out, Leonard could damn well try.

He started by picking up extra clinic shifts. He stayed late at the library, studying for astronavigation and all of the other pilot-certification classes he hated and had always claimed he’d never need. He got up early in the morning and went to the gym; Starfleet officers had to be fit, right? In all, he had his life under better control than he’d had it since the divorce; he spent time with Nyota, was ahead of schedule in all of his classes, and had a goddamn workout schedule. He had it under control in every area except one; Jim.

Jim, for his part, also kept to himself. They went out drinking with Nyota and Gaila every so often, and still met for lunch, but he perceived Leonard’s avoidance and left him the hell alone. He spent more time in the simulators, practicing his flight and combat skills, and more time in the practice courts and the gym. He came up with every excuse to not be in their room, which, for a guy like Jim, wasn’t hard.

Nyota and Gaila thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

15. kiss on my list - daryl hall & john oates
i go crazy wondering
what there is to really see
did the night just take up your time
'cos it means more to me

sometimes i forget what i'm doing
i don't forget what i want
regret what i've done
regret you
i couldn't go on

and if you insist
on knowing my bliss
i'll tell you this
if you want to know
what the reason is
i'll only smile when i lie
then i'll tell you why


Leonard frowned as Jim stared at him, waiting for some sort of a response, positive or otherwise. It was very quiet in the room, both of them assessing the other silently, and nerve-wracking. Jim felt the tension build up around them, and now it felt like it was crashing down in waves.

It was uncomfortable. Jim couldn’t remember ever feeling uncomfortable around Bones. Even that first day something had been easy and simple about the man sitting next to him, offering him a drink. Careless, and free.

Now it was like someone could knock him over with a feather.

“Jim, don’t be ridiculous.” Leonard said softly. “You don’t have to fabricate something that isn’t there. I was drunk, and-”

There it was, right there. The same, silly little reason neither of them were willing to take that last step towards each other. Doubt.

Jim took two steps forward, and kissed Leonard as soundly as he could manage. When Leonard didn’t put up a fuss, or try to turn away, Jim pulled him in with a hand at the small of his back.

It was nothing like the first time. World’s away, in fact. Less clumsy, and more skilled. Less awkward angles, and more symmetry. Leonard moved his own hands to rest of Jim’s hips, thumbs rubbing absently under Jim’s shirt as they kissed easily. Lazily.

They pulled apart, separated slowly. Jim swiped at his mouth with his right hand, grinned at Bones. “Not drunk this time around, right?”

“Right.”

16. i know - hank green
i know that you don't think i know that i know what i know
i don't know what you think i think you think you know i don't
but i know what you don't think i know i know i know i know
baby i know that you don't know what i know


“I’ll tell you my first name someday, Jim,” she said loftily, “but until then, I’m going to have to ask you to stay out of my files.”

“I will!” Jim rushed to assure her, looking up earnestly. “No hacking. I promise.”

“That’s not good enough, Jim. See if I don’t make you swear it. I know the binding rituals in seven languages, you know. And some of them require the person making the oath to be naked under the light of a full moon. I’m sure that would make for some interesting pictures.”

Jim gaped at her. “Are you blackmailing me? With evidence you don’t even have yet?”

“Yes,” said Uhura smartly, then turned on her heel and sauntered away, leaving Jim a strange mixture of entranced and completely terrified. He made a point of never referring to her as “Nyota -” at least not until she told him he could.

17. stargazer - the tea party
these are the times
when we live inside our minds
with our hands in the air
there's voices everywhere
in the slipstream
it's like a daydream

these are the days
when we're dancing through the haze
with our ears to the ground
we're searching for the sound
of a dove's cry

but it won't be over til

you tell me love
tell me where the stars sleep
tell me why your eyes weep
i really want to know

and show me love
take me to the place where
everything would change there
and we'd all be free


“Oi!” Jim shouted at him, scrambling and a little panicked as the couch tilted dangerously. “Watch it, unless you want to start this trip with a medical emergency!”

“I wouldn’t call you bashing your head in a medical emergency,” retorted Leonard, steadying the couch again.

“You do it like, every damn day.”

“Oh shut up,” Jim muttered.

“Are we ready to go yet?” asked Nyota as she approached the car, duffel bag in hand. Regarding the shenanigans that were happening on the car, she rolled her eyes and said to Gaila, “how long have they been at this?”

“A very, very long time,” replied Gaila solemnly, and the two of them dissolved into giggles.

“Okay!” Jim announced, dropping down from the car. “I think we’re ready to go, if we just toss this stuff in the trunk.”

“Finally,” muttered Leonard. “We were supposed to leave an hour ago.”

Five minutes later, they were pulling out onto the highway with Leonard behind the wheel and already sick of Jim’s backseat driving.

“Bones, I think you should -”

“For fuck’s sake, Jim, don’t make me turn this car around!”



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